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READING

Finding the courage to write my own stories

Finding the courage to write my own stories

He stood in the doorway of my office, his presence filling both the door and the office.

He was a large man, and his presence took up more space than his body. It was like having a bird fly overhead, for some reason you’re forced to look up to verify there isn’t a pterodactyl in the sky.

It’s just a feeling.

He was first in command at the office, I was second – we had a great working relationship and generally saw eye to eye on most matters.  That didn’t mean we didn’t have our dust ups from time to time.

When his presence was felt that afternoon I couldn’t help but wonder, what now?

My up bringing, my personality generality led me to jumping to the conclusion that I had of course always done something wrong….and of course I was in some sort of trouble…or there was a fire to put out somewhere.

What? I immediately offered an apology for my “monologuing” at this mornings meeting, I’m lucky he appreciates my sense of humor, and realizes when I start storytelling and I’m getting laughs, the world becomes my stage.

We were meeting with a big foundation earlier in the day and there was a delay in our schedule as we were waiting for somebody….I can’t remember who, but when there’s dead air to fill I that just happens to excel at filling it . I just can’t stop.

My apology was met with an unexpected response.  He said, “That’s why I’m here.”  Oh shit.  He said, “You really need to write some of these stories down. If you write, I’ll help you anyway I can – whatever you need.  You just need to tell your stories.

I heard my mother’s voice in my head…He just feels sorry for you.  Nobody wants to hear about you.

He planted that seed almost 15 years ago.  Although it failed to sprout for another 5 years. I moved on from that job, and on to another city, my brain churned like it was making butter wondering what to do next. Long walks with the dog listening to music wasn’t the answer.

The lyrics to Coldplay’s song Viva la Vida would ring in my ears “I used to rule the world, seas would rise when I gave the word. Now in the morning I sleep alone, sweep the streets that I used to own.”  

My thoughts exactly!  I used to be something!

A card unexpectedly arrives in the mail.

For god’s sake who sends cards for no occasion any more?

Scribbled inside the card, the note said, maybe it’s time to start writing.

I took Coldplay off my playlist and turned on Lady Gaga’s Edge of Glory.  “I’m on the edge of glory, and I’m hanging on a moment of truth”.

It’s time to tell stories.  We’ll talk later….


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