I once had a Tai-chi teacher that said “The only thing constant in the universe is change. Those who struggle against it become miserable trying to hold on to a current reality, instead of accepting that to live is to change.”
I can’t even remember the wise teachers name, but what he said struck such a chord that I have carried his words with me. He was right. Life is as much an ebb and flow as are the ocean tides. I have seen his words as:
– parents trying to control the decisions their adult children make because the son/daughter’s decision is different than the one they would make
– we try to hold onto our loved ones, our families, our childhood homes as we once knew them – instead of embracing the memories and releasing the sorrow that comes from death, relocation or loss
I normally do pretty well with change. However, right now, I am the last example.
Since my dad’s tragic death a year and a half ago, we have been dealing with insurance claims, lawsuits and enough heart-ache to last a life time. During all this there have been constant reminders of stability: our childhood home where mom and dad raised us; the family still in the “home base” area; the home we came to know after mom and dad divorced and he remarried my step-mom; the family celebrations at that house.
But life is about change. My step-mom is lonesome and totally over the midwest winters. She’s looking for a life with more people her own age, weather that won’t impede the interests she has, and the ability to cultivate new relationships and interests. She is selling the house and moving to either Florida or California. (But I think Florida is in the lead…)
Life is about change. While I’m thrilled that she’s excited for a new start, I didn’t expect all the emotions it would conjure in me. That’s the house where they got married. The house we all (mom included) celebrated holidays and birthdays. The house many stayed for those holidays since we’re spread all over the country. It is a festive house hosting many parties and celebrations. It’s the house we’ve shared sorrows and hurts. That house is our homing device, our touch stone.
Life is about change, so I have to stop worrying that without the homing device we won’t see each other, that our holiday celebrations will fall by the wayside, that we will cease to be all that I have come to know, love and depend on. Worry comes from trying to live in the future instead of living in the present, and I just need to knock that shit off.
My rational self knows everything will work out. My rational self embraces change as a new adventure. My rational self knows that this change will be paramount in the wonderful, exciting, new adventures of my step-mom, and friend, of which we will all be a part.
Life is all about change. Sometimes it’s the change in our own life with which we struggle. Sometimes it’s the change others bring about that affects us. The beauty of life is that the only constant is change. It is the acceptance that nothing stays the same which slowly grinds our rough edges and allows us to move more gracefully, more efficiently, and with less pain, to each change in our life.
The only constant in the universe is change. I can choose to labor with mixed-up emotions, struggle and be miserable about the impending changes in our lives, or grab our new familial experience by the tail and bounce headlong into new joys. Hhmmm….I guess you should call me Tigger.