a middleSage publication

Mr. Toads Wild Ride

mr_toad1My crazy life is on the move again.

The last 20 months have been like Mr. Toads wild ride. (Like the real ride from Wind in the Willows – not some dopey Disney ride. And if you haven’t read the book, you’re missing a great story…) The narrated, real ride takes us on a figurative wild ride as Toad drives recklessly at top speed careening around corners, narrowly missing other creatures, and scaring the bejeepers out of his passengers.

In the last 20 months:

I moved south to be joined by my husband 4 months later.

Our son decided it was a good idea to try to race a 300z at 90-100 mph, as he was driving the Kia his dad had co-signed for him, causing a wreck that totaled the car of the people he injured who were returning from vacation, and backed up highway traffic for miles. We arrived in time to talk to the officers and watch as our son was handcuffed and taken to jail. We then had months to wait and worry whether we would have the pants sued off of us.

My “wonderful, wonderful father” (as he referred to himself and we agreed to) died a week after being hit head-on in an accident that was not his fault. 3 days after my dads funeral, in an argument with our son, who once again had decided not to honor any commitments or agreements he had with us, my husband told him to immediately find another place to live. (This was the third and final expulsion from our home.)

The entire family made it to our hometown in the midwest for Christmas, since my dad had pushed us to do so, but the man himself was gone forever, and the time spent there was surreal and weird.

My husband was re-organized out of his job. On the plus side, we got to spend the entire summer together just hanging out and doing what we wanted to do.

We’re on the move again. After living just 20 months in the south, in a house we purchased 24 months ago, my husband accepted a new position and we’re moving west to the mountains.

We’re moving to the mountains. It wasn’t until I typed that sentence that I finally feel and realize it’s OK and everything will work out as it is supposed to. It will be just the two of us – plus one dog who is always excited, and a cat who is nonchalant – and a chance to make decisions without having to take anybody else into consideration.

The last 20 months have been a wild ride. But that ride, although profoundly scaring the bejeepers out of us at times, has allowed us to see things from a different angle. We realized that we can hold on tightly until anger fades and heartbreak is eventually blanketed with warm memories.

We’re moving to the mountains, but this time we’ve told Mr. Toad we’re gonna walk a while.

 


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