Generation FabulousWe just had the privilege of taking part in our first Blog hop with a tremendous group of ….”mature ladies”….ladies that like us – write.  Generation Fabulous was the group coordinating all of our posts on Aging Gracefully.  Each of us writing on the same topic, but with our own perspective….I learned a lot about the company we keep here in the blogging world.  It’s a small world and even though most of us have never met each other, we have so much in common with each other.

When I first started blogging, I thought I had something to say….Now, that I’ve been doing it for a while, I think it’s because I want to engage….engage with people that have walked in my shoes, faced some of the same issues and loved and lost as I had.  These people, although spread all over the country (and world) share my world view.

My how my world has changed!  In my early years, there were “clicks” throughout my school years, Either I belonged to some, longed to belong to some or just looked at them like aliens from another planet.

Then I develop into the career version of me.  There were still the different groups that you didn’t cross into….Clerical hung with the other Clerical people, Management clustered with other Management.  Sometimes (I’m showing my age here) it was a matter of gender.  Always an “exclusivity” to finding the right fit.

For a time, It seemed  my social interactions were mainly with people either I or my husband worked with, or even parents of the children my children played with.

Then there were the “proximity” friends.  Those that lived on my block and were handy to be friends with.

I had a “gaggle” of girl friends for years, but age, wisdom & moving around the country has changed our relationship….and sometimes you just have to clean house of those that are toxic or just requiring too much energy to maintain.

images-1Cohorts could be used to describe my pals now, or the other bloggers I have had the pleasure of “meeting”.  I think Tribes might just be the best description of my fellow middle-aged woman.  Many of us have traveled the same journey to get here.

I’d love to know you all better…We’ve started a list to describe us…Surely you can add to it.  Surely, even because you’re reading this….you belong to our tribe.

Members of my “Tribe” might be women who

  • Used to think they could have it all, now realize there’s no where to put it
  • Want to retire and do something different, something meaningful but we don’t want to move to africa and save a village
  • Raised their kids and now are only needed for the occasional recipe of “Grandma’s Spaghetti” and babysitting services
  • Hate the women who wear the “Red Hats”
  • Read the Fifty Shades Series, but think the Characters need a good therapist and the women who are “turned on” by the books are a little fucked up too
  • Feel invisible at times
  • Love the energy of women half my age, but hate hearing sentences that start with “that’s what my mom says”
  • Feel like I have something to offer, I’m not done yet and I want to leave a legacy other than my children
  • Think Erma Bombeck’s advice was sound; “The grass really is greener over the septic tank”!
  • Love technology, but would like it to be a little bit easier to get a human being on the phone
  • Have lost contact with more people than they can count
  • Thought they married to their best friends until they realized best friends know a lot more than their husbands
  • Are too experienced to work for somebody else and too tired to build another Empire
  • Aren’t old, but are sometimes shocked when we look in the mirror….it just doesn’t match how we feel
  • Fought really hard to prove women were equal to men and now just really appreciate having a door opened for me
  • Still wonder what to be when they grow up
  • Have taken on such male traits that we define ourselves by the work we do, how did that happen
  • Need a heartfelt connection with other women
  • Understand that like a garden, friends sometimes need to be weeded out of your life
  • Have a creative side they have not yet tapped into
  • Are searching for just HOW to tap into that creative side
  • Have a feeling that they are on the verge of next, biggest thing in their lives…..but can’t define what that is
  • Know we are stores of fabulous information: if we knew then what we know now, we could run the world…..the right way
  • Realize that most things that used to piss us off are now just an annoyance
  • Wonder how we are still so focused on weight, dieting and working out
  • Think if they have to cook one more chicken breast for dinner, they’ll run shrieking into the dark night
  • Are tired of the role in our households of the party planner, cruise director, and financial guru…..and wonder what in Gods name is wrong with husband/partners/boyfriends that they can’t plan a freaking event, vacation, weekend without being prompted
  • Want to tear their hair out because not once, in all the years we’ve know our husbands/partners/boyfriends, can they go to the damn grocery store without calling us with questions
  • Have become interested in family genealogy due probably to our age and the secret hope that we too will be remembered after we’re dead

images-4Are you part of this “tribe”?

Do you find yourself at a stage in life when a little weeding of your longtime friends might be necessary?  And are you looking for a little more connection with women who really “get you”?

Do you have some “tribal characteristics” you’d like to add to our list?

Let’s Talk About it…


  • You’re so right–we GenFabbers have a lot in common. But I think what makes the tribe so fascinating is its diversity–we each seem to have something of value that we can contribute to the whole. That’s what keeps the group vibrant and always fascinating!

    • Barbara Joy

      Thanks for such positive comments Cathy! I believe I started blogging because I had something to say…I now think I blog because I want to engage

  • The interesting thing about being part of this blogging movement, to me, is that we are able to create an open-ended ness to our lives while sitting at home. This wasn’t an option before the technology was created so I am very grateful to the Internet gods! Love your list

    • Barbara Joy

      So happy we can share so much of ourselves without losing our autonomy! Best of both worlds….oh yeah and I can sit in bed and still be engaging! Winner winner chicken dinner!

  • I jumped onto the generation fabulous blog hop the minute I saw it. I’ve been searching for a tribe outside of the “mommy blogs” that gets me at this stage in my life. I moved to a wealthy suburb of Milwaukee when I got married 15 years ago- we bought my husband’s Aunt and Uncles home on a lake when they down-sized. Our little home is surrounded by huge McMansions where most of the neighbors are a bit pretentious. All of the friends I’ve made since moving here are from somewhere else; which I enjoy because I love diversity and find them to be more real. I do spend a lot of time at work though which makes it harder to meet new people in an established neighborhood. Which is why I blog – I enjoy meeting new people and ideas. I love your list btw; it sounds as if you are sick of all the “bull” and want a real life with real friends.

    • Barbara Joy

      Thank you so much for stopping by and reading! You know, your experience with your move and meeting new people echoes that of myself and my blogging partner (Lee Aldrich). We have both moved around the country a lot in the last decade (due to husbands job) and we have both experienced the same thing you talk about when it comes to the “making friends” part of our journey. We wanted to start a community where there are women you could talk to that understood your life’s journey…that understood our life’s journey…it’s been remarkable so far! I’m glad we found you!

  • Sue Shoemaker

    Really love what you are creating here, Barbara. Your post on the Coconut Macaroons was delightfully funny. Thanks for the real out loud laughs (AND the recipe).

    When you use the word “tribe”…it “speaks” to me. I think about various groups in my life as “tribes.”

    Seth Godin wrote a book on leadership entitled TRIBES. On pages 1 and 2 he states:

    “A group needs only two things to be a tribe: a shared interest and a way to communicate…Tribes need leadership. Sometimes one person leads, sometimes more. People want connection and growth and something new. They want change.”

    On page 4, he goes on to say: “Geography used to be important…Now, the Internet eliminates geography.”

    Sounds quite a bit like what you are doing here. Thanks for stepping into that leadership role! I’m sure I’ll be back.

    • Barbara Joy

      Sue, your comment represents what I was looking for when I started this blog! After moving away from my “girlfriend tribe” I needed to connect with women and I just wasn’t finding a way to do that until I started blogging. Some times you feel like your just talking into the dark night and then all of a sudden you make a connection! The time you took to reply is very much appreciated!

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