Lee Aldrich MiddlesageWaiting For The Future to Begin is also known as “I’ll be Happy when (fill in the blank)….” You’ll be happy when: you lose the weight, buy a house, sell a house, get married, get divorced, find a new job, etc., etc., etc. Does this sound like you? If so, you’re waiting for the future, waiting for something to happen in order to begin being happy.

Henri Junttila in the article “The Illusion of Waiting for the Future to be Happy” says that “the future is an illusion. It’s just a concept in your head.” Junttila states that:

  • Money in hand“I wanted more money, more adventure, and more time so I could be in the present moment. When I put it like that, it almost seems crazy, doesn’t it? But that’s how your mind works. It promises that you’ll get something that you already have. The problem is that to be at peace, you have to transcend the mind.”

Eckhart Tolle echoes that thought in that thought from The Power of Now. Tolle states that “Waiting Is a State of Mind:”

  • Yikes!“Are you a habitual ‘waiter’? How much of your life do you spend waiting? What I call ‘small-scale waiting’ is waiting in line at the post office, in a traffic jam, at the airport, or waiting for someone to arrive, to finish work, and so on. ‘Large-scale waiting’ is waiting for the next vacation, for a better job, for the children to grow up, for a truly meaningful relationship, for success, to make money, to be important, to become enlightened. It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.
  • “Waiting is a state of mind. Basically, it means that you want the future; you don’t want the present. You don’t want what you’ve got, and you want what you haven’t got. With every kind of waiting, you unconsciously create inner conflict between your here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future, where you want to be. This greatly reduces the quality of your life by making you lose the present.”

Waiting for the future in order to be happy puts us in a place of limbo, makes us unaccountable for our current state of life or unhappiness, and keeps us reaching for happiness in a place we can’t DSC_0007really visit….the future.

We can squander what we have right now, for an ideal of a future that may never come to fruition. Or, we can take a good, hard look at why we’re trying to escape our present life, and realize the future is just smoke and mirrors and what we pretend it will be.

Are you Waiting for the Future to Begin to be happy?

 

 

 

 

 

11 Comments

  • Great post. Waiting like this is a cornerstone of codependent and enabler behavior – when I have a boyfriend, husband, job, $$, house, kids, etc. life will be perfect. The challenge is not just accepting the present for what it is and enjoying it but understanding in your soul that you are good enough the way you are and the acquisition of any of this stuff including a relationship does not inherently change who you are. Being happy NOW is a very important part of our growth. Thanks for addressing this! Looking forward to more.
    Carolyn Moore recently posted…A Sunday Diversion – Epically Awesome AwardsMy Profile

    • Barbara Coleman

      Staying in the present isn’t easy is it?….as Erma Bombeck said, “The grass is always greener over the septic tank”

    • Lee Aldrich

      You are right on the money with your comment that we are good enough the way are. Stuff is just stuff, being happy and grateful for what we do have is paramount.
      Thank you for a wonderful comment!

    • Barbara Coleman

      I hear you, Julie! Here in Atlanta we’ve had nothing but rain for days…. Sounds like you have a hobby too with the painting. That just happens to be tomorrow’s topic! 😉

    • Lee Aldrich

      Ah HA! That made me laugh! It also reminded me of being a kid and climbing to the attic of the garage in the summer that was at least 20 degrees hotter than below.
      And we hung out up there! Crazy!

      Here’s to a break in the heat to resume your passion!

      Thank you for your comment!

  • I am not waiting to be happy, but I have to admit, I am eagerly anticipating the joy of an empty nest. My daughter starts high school in the fall, so I have a good long wait. I will have to think about whether that anticipation is negatively affecting my happiness in the here and now.
    Ginger Kay recently posted…Peaches, the taste of summerMy Profile

    • Barbara Coleman

      Ginger, I counted the days till I had an empty nest and for awhile it was great, but it wasn’t like I imagined. Now I fel like I not only missed the empty nest I dreamed of, but all the years before they left. My kids are nearing 40 (I started REALLY young) and I’d like the time back.

      • I can see that happening. Part of why I daydream about it is that I’m not sure I’ll ever have it. I may have my mother living with me by the time my last child leaves. Also, my first child hasn’t left. Yeah, it’s probably pure fantasy, but I have to have something when the fifteen year old is rolling her eyes at me.
        Ginger Kay recently posted…Peaches, the taste of summerMy Profile

        • Barbara Coleman

          I understand….I so understand! For me it was all about responsibility…I had a therapist tell my husband before we were even married tat I’ve been “pulling my own sled” my whole life, now it was his turn for a while. Btw…I just bought some fresh Georgia peaches because of you….waiting ever so patiently for them to finish ripening.

    • Lee Aldrich

      I feel you pain. We have officially been empty nesters for about 2 years. Yippee skippee is all I have to say. What will negatively affect your happiness is clocking the eye roller and going to jail. (Ooo…I HATED that!) Hang in there, we know it can be tough.

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